TOEFL Ders Notları_9

ESSAY 9

SORU :

Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to the advice of family and friends. Other people believe that the best way of learning about life is through personal experience. Compare the advantages of these two different ways of learning about life. Which do you think is preferable? Use specific examples to support your preference.

Bazı insanlar hayat hakkında bilgi sahibi olmanın en iyi yolunun ailenin ve arkadaşların öğütlerini dinlemek olduğuna inanırlar. Diğerleri ise en iyi yolun kişisel deneyim olduğuna inanırlar. Bu iki yolun avantajlarını karşılaştırınız. Hangisinin daha tercih edilebilir olduğunu belirtiniz. Spesifik örnekler kullanarak cevabınızı açıklayınız.

Learning starts from the day we took our first breath to the end of the last day. Not only studying in a school but also everything we did and did not teaches us lots of things. There are lots of way to learn in this life. Nevertheless, learning by others advices and our experiences are the most common way of it.
First of all, listening the advices of our friends and families is a logical thing to do. In order to give an advice to someone, you must have experienced it. In some critical conditions this advices can be very vital especially if you don’t have a second chance to do something or you cannot revert. For example: You are an investor and you are investing in an area that you do not know anything about. You can listen others advices in that area to make your investment successful. Otherwise your choices without knowledge can turn your investment into a failure.
Secondly, experience is the most permanent knowledge type that we can gain because it is something more than theory – it is practice. If you do something right or wrong, it doesn’t matter. The matter is the experience you gain from it. For example; there is a toddler that doesn’t know if a heater is hot or cold. When that toddler touch to the heather, he/she will learn from it. As a result that child will know touching to a heather can hurt. This is the pure and the basic experience which most of us experienced with.
In conclusion, I believe the most efficient way to live this life is trying, failing and learning from it. Without experiences, we can’t know how failure or success feels like. There is no one without mistake. So advices can’t bring perfection to us even they are useful sometimes.
DEĞERLENDİRME:
Learning starts from the day we took our first breath to the end of the last day. Not only studying in a school but also everything we did and did not teaches us lots of things. There are lots of way to learn in this life. Nevertheless, learning by others advices and our experiences are the most common way of it.
First of all, listening the advices of our friends and families is a logical thing to do. In order to give an advice to someone, you must have experienced it. In some critical conditions this advices can be very vital especially if you don’t have a second chance to do something or you cannot revert. For example: You are an investor and you are investing in an area that you do not know anything about. You can listen others advices in that area to make your investment successful. Otherwise your choices without knowledge can turn your investment into a failure.
Secondly, experience is the most permanent knowledge type that we can gain because it is something more than theory – it is practice. If you do something right or wrong, it doesn’t matter. The matter is the experience you gain from it. For example; there is a toddler that doesn’t know if a heater is hot or cold. When that toddler touch to the heather, he/she will learn from it. As a result that child will know touching to a heather can hurt. This is the pure and the basic experience which most of us experienced with.
In conclusion, I believe the most efficient way to live this life is trying, failing and learning from it. Without experiences, we can’t know how failure or success feels like. There is no one without mistake.So advices can’t bring perfection to us even they are useful sometimes.
KELİME SAYISI: 306
YAPILAN HATALAR:

• -starts from the day olarak da söylenir ancak starts the day daha doğru
• -take (genel bir durumdan bahsediyorsun + gerçekten gerekli değilse zaman değiştirme)
• -to the end of yanlış değil ancak until the last day de olabilirdi
• -do and do not
• -lots of ways
• -by others’ ya da from others’
• -ways
• -listening to
• -this advice (advice sayılıyor mu?)
• -do not daha formal
• -For example, you (burada Let’s say / Provided that gibi kalıplar daha uygun olabilir. Basit bir if bağlacı da işini görebilirdi: If you are an investor and you are investing in an area that you do not know anything abou, you can listen to advices of others in that area to make your investmentsuccessful.
• -What matters is ….
• -For example,
• -toddler touches the heater
• -he/she durumunda birine karar ver: ya he de ve öyle devam et ya da she de ve öyle devam et.
• -As a result, that
• -to gereksiz
• -heater (tekrar yazım hatası ilk yazdığında doğruydu diğer hataların dikkatsizlikten ve essayiniz bittikten sonra basit hatalar için kontrol etmek işte bu yüzden çok önemli ve kompozisyon yazmanın, planlama ile birlikte, es geçemeyeceğiniz aşamalarından biri.
• -us had: ardarda experience tekrarı olmuş kısaca had diyebilirdin.
• -cannot/can not
• -There is no one without mistake. Hatasız kul olmaz mı demek istedin:) Böyle durumlarda basit düşünün ve yazabildiğiniz İngilizceyi işe koşun. Mesela aynı anlama gelecek ama daha basit bir cümle “Everyone makes mistakes.” olabilir.
• -Therefore, ( So bağlacını cümle başında kullanmamaya çalış. Cümle ortasında başında virgül ile iki cümleyi bağlasın : svo, so svo.
• -even if (even tek başına bağlaç değildir ama bağlaçları niteler: even though / even so)